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ENGLAND IS MY CITY.
Tags: cool, dumb, humor, joke, lol
WHEN LIFE KNOCKS ME DOWN I USUALLY LIE THERE AND TAKE A NAP.
Tags: cool, dumb, for her, for him, friend
I WORK HARD SO MY DOG CAN HAVE A BETTER LIFE.
Tags: animals, boyfriend, cool, cute, for her
I WORK HARD SO MY CAT CAN HAVE A BETTER LIFE.
I'M NOT ALWAYS A DICK JUST KIDDING GO FUCK YOURSELF.
Tags: boyfriend, brother, cool, dumb, for him
I RUN BETTER THAN THE GOVERNMENT.
Tags: boyfriend, cardio, for her, for him, friend
THIS IS MY HANGOVER SHIRT.
Tags: beer, celebration, champagne, drink drank drunk, dumb
PERMANENTLY TIRED.
Tags: bored, boyfriend, for her, for him, husband
I'D RATHER BE SLEEPING.
Tags: bored, dumb, friend, funny, hilarious
PIZZA IS CHEAPER THAN THERAPY.
Tags: boyfriend, dumb, food, for her, for him
IF MONDAY HAD A FACE I WOULD PUNCH IT.
Tags: coo, coworker, dumb, for her, for him
GIVE ME COFFEE AND NO ONE GETS HURT.
Tags: boyfriend, caffeine, dumb, for her, for him
SALTY.
Tags: boyfriend, cool, dumb, for her, for him
THANKS FOR NOTHING.
Tags: cool, divorce, dumb, ex boyfriend, ex girlfriend
I ONLY DRINK ON DAYS THAT START WITH T.
Tags: beer, birthday, celebration, champagne, club
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