Malort Hoodies

Quench your thirst for dark humor with our Malört T-shirt featuring Rev Jim Jones cheekily suggesting to "Drink the Malört" This comedic twist combines irreverent wit with the legendary bitterness, making it a shirt that stands out for those who appreciate a taste of unconventional hilarity.

Finally an explaniton why it tastes so bad!

Malort: The Devil's gift to Chicago. One sip and you'll know HELL is REAL.

Embrace the daring spirit and wear this statement piece that's sure to spark conversations and elicit curious glances. Crafted with premium materials, this shirt not only makes a powerful statement but also ensures supreme comfort throughout the day. Whether you're a fan of the infamous malört liquor or simply appreciate the witty humor, this shirt is a must-have for those who embrace life's challenges with a touch of audacity. Share your fearless attitude with the world and let your unique taste shine!

' This witty and straightforward design is perfect for those who've had the infamous malort liquor experience or anyone with a taste for irreverent fun. Crafted with utmost care and comfort in mind, this shirt offers a relaxed fit and soft fabric that ensures you'll enjoy wearing it all day long. Whether you're out with friends, attending parties, or simply lounging at home, this shirt is bound to spark laughter and camaraderie. Show off your playful side and share the inside joke with fellow malort survivors! Get ready to be the center of attention and let everyone know that you fearlessly own your taste preferences, no matter how peculiar they may be!

Embrace Iconic Quirkiness with our Malort Pop Art T-Shirt! Inspired by the legendary Andy Warhol's vibrant style, this shirt features a mesmerizing display of multi-color bottles of Malort, blending art and wit seamlessly. Channel the spirit of the art world while showcasing your love for this notorious liquor. Crafted with soft and breathable fabric, this shirt ensures all-day comfort as you become the walking canvas of creativity. Whether you're a fan of Malort or an art enthusiast, this unique design will draw attention and spark conversations wherever you go. Elevate your wardrobe with a touch of pop art allure and make a statement that's as bold and distinctive as the legendary drink itself!

Embrace Chicago's Eccentric Tradition with our Malort Chicago Handshake Tee! Featuring the iconic 'Handshake' of Malort and Old Style, this shirt pays homage to the city's bold spirit and unique taste. Crafted with utmost comfort, wear it proudly to show your love for Chicago and a sense of adventure in trying this legendary liquor. Whether you're a local or just passing through, this shirt is a conversation starter, connecting you with fellow enthusiasts who have shared the unforgettable Malort experience. Join the quirky camaraderie, and let the world know you've conquered the infamous 'Chicago Handshake'!

Experience the bold twist of Malört pride with our T-shirt sporting the iconic Costco logo playfully reimagined. This shirt is a humorous nod to the unique flavor that transcends the ordinary, inviting you to embrace the Costco-sized bitterness of this legendary spirit.

Embrace the bitterness with our Malort Misfit line featuring the iconic Misfits crimson Ghost! These designs pays homage to both Chicago's infamous spirit and punk rock culture. With bold graphics and a comfortable fit, it's the perfect attire for any daring soul ready to take on the unique flavor of Malort. Wear it proudly and join the rebellion against blandness. Stand out, embrace the bitter, and make a statement with every sip.

Unleash your rebellious spirit with our Malort-themed T-shirt, boldly adorned with the iconic black flag logo and the straightforward proclamation, "Malört Sucks." Perfect for those who appreciate a touch of irreverence, this shirt is a fearless statement against the notorious bitterness, turning a Chicago tradition into a symbol of defiance that's as bold as the city itself.

Embrace the bitterness with our Malort Misfit line featuring the iconic Misfits Mr devil Lock himself! These designs pays homage to both Chicago's infamous spirit and punk rock culture. With bold graphics and a comfortable fit, it's the perfect attire for any daring soul ready to take on the unique flavor of Malort. Wear it proudly and join the rebellion against blandness. Stand out, embrace the bitter, and make a statement with every sip.

Celebrate the bold clash of flavors with our Malort-themed T-shirt featuring a hockey or maybe a lacrosse player graphic. As you gear up for the game or hit the town, showcase your fearless spirit both on and off the field with this shirt, embodying the resilience it takes to conquer both the competition and the unique taste of Chicago's legendary spirit.

Indulge in the dark allure of Malört with our "Pure Evil" T-shirt. This shirt captures the essence of the notorious spirit, combining its uniquely bitter flavor with a touch of wicked style for those who dare to embrace the darker side of libation.

Navigate the bold and bitter waters of Malört with our exclusive T-shirt featuring Admiral Akbar exclaiming, "It's a trap!" This clever design is a playful nod to the unexpected and distinctive experience of this legendary spirit, perfect for those who appreciate a taste adventure.

"Embrace the unique flavor of Chicago's Malort with our 'Malort Mom' wares. Whether you're a seasoned aficionado or a newcomer to its distinct taste, this shirt proudly displays your appreciation for the iconic spirit. Perfect for dads who savor life's unconventional pleasures, it's a stylish statement piece that celebrates the boldness and resilience inherent in the Malort experience. Wear it with pride and raise a glass to the adventurous spirit within."

"Embrace the unique flavor of Chicago's Malort with our 'Malort Dad' classic tee. Whether you're a seasoned aficionado or a newcomer to its distinct taste, this shirt proudly displays your appreciation for the iconic spirit. Perfect for dads who savor life's unconventional pleasures, it's a stylish statement piece that celebrates the boldness and resilience inherent in the Malort experience. Wear it with pride and raise a glass to the adventurous spirit within."

Take your sense of humor to new heights with our Malort-themed T-shirt featuring a flying monkey comically declaring membership in the "The Anti Malort League." This playful design not only pays homage to Chicago's unique spirit but also adds a whimsical touch, making it the perfect shirt for those who appreciate a blend of irreverence and Windy City charm.

Elevate your style with our Malort-inspired T-shirt, featuring a sleek design that fuses the unmistakable Lonsdale logo with the bold name of Malort and elements of the State Flag. This shirt seamlessly blends streetwear aesthetics with Windy City pride, offering a unique and fashionable way to showcase your taste for adventure and the legendary flavor of Chicago's infamous spirit.

Make a bold statement with our "Even the Vikings Hated Malort" T-shirt, a humorous ode to the legendary resilience of those who dare to savor this iconic Chicago spirit. Crafted from soft, comfortable fabric, this tee not only showcases your witty side but also pays homage to the adventurous spirit of the Windy City. Wear it proudly, and let the world know that even the Vikings couldn't handle the unique flavor of Malort – a true badge of honor for the brave souls who call Chicago home.

Embrace the bold and bitter legacy of Malört with our exclusive shirt that proudly declares, "Malört Made baby Jesus cry." Crafted with a touch of humor, this shirt is perfect for those who appreciate the unique and unforgettable taste of this iconic spirit.

Declare your taste adventure proudly with our Malort-themed T-shirt, boldly stating that it is in fact "Worse than Elvis Juice." This shirt combines the iconic charm of Chicago's notorious spirit with a humorous nod to the adventurous palate, making it a must-have for those who appreciate a touch of irreverence in their wardrobe.

Inject humor into your wardrobe with our Malort-themed T-shirt featuring a whimsical illustration of a cat playfully tossing its cookies, perfectly encapsulating the unexpected reaction to Chicago's famed spirit. This shirt not only showcases your adventurous taste buds but also adds a touch of feline mischief, making it a purr-fect conversation starter for those who appreciate the lighter side of sipping on Malort.

Add a playful twist to your wardrobe with our Malort-themed T-shirt featuring a quirky illustration of a meatball humorously expressing its reaction to the legendary Chicago spirit. This shirt is a lighthearted nod to the unforgettable taste of Malort, making it the perfect conversation starter for those who appreciate a dash of humor with their Windy City pride.

Elevate your Chicago pride with our exclusive "Trust Me, I'm from Chicago" T-shirt – a stylish homage to the city's bold personality. Crafted from premium cotton, this tee boasts a confident message on the front, declaring your Windy City roots. Plus, with a subtle nod to Chicago's adventurous spirit, this shirt is the perfect blend of hometown pride and a wink to the iconic Malort – a true Chicagoan's choice of beverage.

Heaven send Hell away No one sings like you anymore Rat Hole Sun

Introducing our 'Malort: Champagne of Pain' apparel, celebrating the bold spirit of Chicago's infamous liqueur. Embrace the bitter-sweet charm with our stylish range, perfect for those who dare to defy convention. From classic tees to hoodies, each piece embodies the resilient spirit of the Windy City. Wear it proudly and join the ranks of those who appreciate life's unexpected flavors. Toast to the adventurous journey with Malort – the Champagne of Pain.

After you've paid your respects to our fallen friend, remember your visit to the Roscoe Village Rat Hole and share the experience with all you meet.

Have you ever been asked to take a shot of Malört and just resigned yourself to the inevitable pain you know will follow? Then this shirt is for you. Here's to the grossest thing to come out of Chicago since Rod Blagojevich.

Even loons would order a Chicago Handshake. If it was safe to drink in bars, that is.

Just like the Chicago Handshake Loon but less surly!