Technically The Truth Magnets

Once you read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

If you are the most famous spy in the world, that means you are the least successful one.

A new scientific study claims that fertility is hereditary. If your parents didn't have any children, chances are you won't either.

When you ask for someone's name, you're essentially asking them what noise you should make to get their attention.

The best way to avoid getting pregnant is to be a man.

Bunk beds are human shelves.

If animals weren't meant to be eaten, then why are they made out of food!

If you go to jail for tax evasion, you're living off of taxes as a result of not paying taxes.

Definition of life: A sexually-transmitted terminal disease.

If you think about it, a kangaroo is just a t-rex deer.

You technically only have two minutes to live, but every time you inhale oxygen it resets the timer.

Cannibalism would solve both overpopulation and world hunger.

Definition of stalking: When two people go for a walk together but only one of them knows about it.

If you attempt to rob a bank, you will have no trouble with food, rent, or bills for the next 10 years regardless of your success.

Buy one burger for the price of two and receive a second burger for absolutely free!

You don't need a parachute to skydive, you need a parachute to skydive twice. I'm not wrong!

you're not so innocent, but neither is anybody else, correction, everybody else.