The Adult Nerd

The song Piano Man is about a clueless straight man playing piano in a gay bar

Bohemian Sewer City

Someone get that girl to Wingstop. Just f******g drive!

The winged eagle championship worn by wrestling buddies and champions alike. Live your life as a world wrestling champion, you earned it.

Stop talking about your favorite podcast, we’re all tired of hearing about it.

That scene from Hereditary at the kitchen table. Celebrate your love of Hereditary and confuse the hell out of your friends who haven’t seen it yet and that old lady you regularly see when you walk your dog.

Only a quarter. One coin and you can open an endless possibility of options, but only with the right machine.

If you’re gonna pick a place to get swarmed by zombies, why wouldn’t it be the mall? A tribute to the Gap. Who wouldn’t die for some Orange Julius?

Everyone is beautiful, just like this off-brand TMNT import Donatello

He’s the detective you need to go more than skin deep. Detective Boney will get your answers, just do not call his humor dry.

This is what happens when you let science find its natural limits. This. Nic Cage Patrick Starfish?

It’s the face on mouth thy you can’t unsee from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. We all knew it was guys in suits, but no one wanted a reminded but THERE. IT. IS. Donatello laughs and… is that a face? In his mouth? Oh lord, please let me unsee this. Give me the unsee juice.

Only the truly lucky we’re able to get their hands on a pair of X-ray specs from the ads in the pages of a comic book. This one is for all the people who like dark colored clothes.

Only the truly lucky we’re able to get their hands on a pair of X-ray specs from the ads in the pages of a comic book.

Googly eyes! These are googly eyes. Googly eyes for you.

Sometimes there’s too much bread

From an 1865 broadsheet on spiritualism and witchcraft.

so,etc,es the design says it all

Forgive me, I was sick when I made this

Stop asking about the Queen. RIP Queen.

He loves footlongs

It’s a flamingo or maybe it’s a leggy swan? You’ll never know.

Call 1-800-PIZZA because today is pizza day!

For the real 80s and 90s kids, nothing comes close to the original TMNT Mikey.

The immortal words of poet Robert Frost and a T-Rex with a top hat. The reference is obvious, don’t you agree?

Why not? Your perfect marriage between seafaring rapscallions and the combo of sauce, bread, and cheese that made you happy every Friday in school. Y’arrr, it be pizza day mateys!

Inspired by Stranger Things: The sign Robin Buckley shows Steve Harrington when they work at the Scoops Ahoy at the Starcourt Mall with "You Rule" and "You Suck" when Steve is striking out with the ladies. This is Season 4 Episode 3 of Stranger Things, "The Monster and the Superhero."

An obvious parody of the infamous Zabar's design, now you can own the parody Zabar's Sucks. Zabar's on the Upper West Side is a New york Institution, but so are things like rats or the subway platforms being hotter than the sun in August.

Seven cards and you also get a stick of gum? You get to go on a space adventure and chew bubble gum on your way? Beam you up.

You didn’t see it coming until it was too late, it’s the SHOCKER!

Love your M6, show it. It’s like a Leica, like a Like A.

We have Godzilla at home. Kinda. Well, the label didn’t exactly SAY Godzilla, but you can’t really tell the difference if you squint. Squint hard. Really hard.

Everything is going great, right?!

warm 1: chop warm 2: burn

make u cool

Mutant snapping turtle Slash, the classic 80s and 90s action figure TMNT villain.