Absurdist Humor Tapestries

Simple white letters on black background: "Donuts are my favorite circles." I mean, there's not even really any competition. Maybe LPs. Or in very specific circumstances - a life ring. But otherwise - sweet snacks all day, baby!

Simple white letters on black background: "I CHOOSE CHAOS". Hopefully you're chaotic good or at least chaotic neutral, not chaotic evil. Those people need to go through some things. But chaos can be creative, right?

Simple white letters on black background: "If being gay was a choice, I'd choose to be gayer." Get along with you, Karen, and take your shrill nonsensical judgment with you.

EMBRACING CHAOS WITH EVERY CHAPTER ABSURDIST LITERATURE

Simple white letters on black background: "FOFOMO: Fear of fear of missing out." You don't want to miss out. But you don't want to get too anxious about it either. FOFOMO is for the birds.

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I'd just go

Simple white letters on black background: "Die mad about it." I just don't even care about that, Karen. Die mad about it.

Simple black letters on white background: "All hat, no cattle." If you've got a self-deprecating sense of humor, this could be the design for you. Got a lot of flash but not so much substance? Yeah, join the club.

Simple white letters on black background: "BAD ART FRIEND". Because did you donate a kidney? Well, did you? And did you congratulate me enough? WELL DID YOU? WHO IS THE BAD ART FRIEND?! (it's you)

Simple white letters on black background: "All hat, no cattle." If you've got a self-deprecating sense of humor, this could be the design for you. Got a lot of flash but not so much substance? Yeah, join the club.

Everything's a Drum

This shirt is all about embracing the absurdity of life with a shrug and a smirk. Perfect for those who appreciate a touch of dark humor and a laid-back attitude.

Simple white letters on black background: "I have just had coffee or am on my way to get coffee." Add milk or keep it black; drink it sweet or bitter; you're always between coffees. Caffeine runs in your veins and oozes out your pores.

Simple white letters on black background: "I have no small talk. And no big talk either." Some of us can talk earnestly about dogs or waffles or battleships for hours, but not about the weather. And that's OK.

Too Many Cooks. Too Many Cooks. Too Many Cooks. Too Many Cooks. Too Many Cooks. Too Many Cooks. Too Many Cooks. Too Many Cooks. Too Many Cooks. Too Many Cooks. Too Many Cooks. Too Many Cooks. Too Many Cooks. Too Many Cooks. Too Many Cooks. Too Many Cooks. Too Many Cooks. Too Many Cooks. Too Many Cooks. Too Many Cooks. Too Many Cooks. Too Many Cooks. Too Many Cooks. Too Many Cooks. Too Many Cooks. Too Many Cooks.

Simple white letters on black background: "I have just had boba or am on my way to get boba." Whether you add crystal pearls or black tapioca or pudding or matcha or fruit or whatever, boba is simply the best. Bubble tea for all!

Simple white letters on black background: "I mean!!!" Sometimes there are no words. I can't even.

Simple white letters on black background: "Can you speak up? I'm eavesdropping." Definitely tongue in cheek - or maybe not? If you're incurably curious and a complete gossip, may as well let people know.

At This Point, If a Clown Invited Me Into The Woods, I'd Just Go Sarcastic

Simple white letters on black background: "I've had altogether too much day". How are some days like this? You start out strong and by lunch you're ready to disappear into the woods. It's too peopley out there.

Simple white letters on black background: "I have 12 secret herbs and spices." The cooking equivalent of "this goes up to 11" except this goes to 12. Which is, naturally, better.

Simple white letters on black background: "potato". Humor of the absurd for the win! Which potato are you? The couch variety?

Simple white letters on black background: "Actually yes, I WAS born in a barn." Raised by wolves. In a barn. Yep. It explains a lot.

Simple white letters on black background: "I have just eaten bacon or am on my way to get bacon." Life is a never-ending parade of bacon and some of us like it like that. Tasty salted pig parts; nom nom.

Simple white letters on black background: "I have just had tea or am on my way to get tea." Maybe you're British; maybe you're an Aussie grandpa about to put the kettle on and get out the biscuit tin. But it's time for a cuppa tea.

Simple white letters on black background: "I have just eaten tacos or am on my way to get tacos." Are they hipster or are they simply classic? Doesn't matter; tacos are just the best. Well, all Tex Mex is pretty aces; that's just facts.

C'est la cerise qui fait déborder le vase !

A cartoon puppy and a rainbow because puppies are nature's rainbows, of course!

Simple white letters on black background: "When this is over, I still want some of y'all to stay away from me." Have these pandemic years given you a new understanding of some of the people around you? It's never too late to start having boundaries.

Dead Inside Sign Board

At first glance you have a sweeter than pie unicorn with sparkles and stars, but look a little closer because this unicorn's making threats: I can and will end you. For those who like their snark absurd, tongue in cheek, and with a wink.

Make it make sense

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I'd just go.

Simple white letters on black background: "manky wee bastard". When you just embrace your identity (maybe with some self-deprecating, tongue in cheek humor) and wear it with pride.

Simple white letters on black background: "MANKY WEE BASTARD". When you just embrace your identity (maybe with some self-deprecating, tongue in cheek humor) and wear it with pride.

Simple white letters on black background: "jammy git". Sarcastic or self-aware or just classic self-deprecating British humour? Or give this to your best mate.