Private Eye Tapestries

Alien Private Eye Retro UK VHS cover

The main characters form my series of novels

A Man Named Forsythe design.

A Man Named Forsythe design.

Funny bulldog is holding a camera

You won't see me until you see results.

Funny dachshund is holding a camera

Funny french bulldog is holding a camera

Funny pug is holding a camera

Generally considered one of the greatest movies of the seventies and arguably the greatest private eye flick ever made (the only other contender is John Huston's The Maltese Falcon) 1974's Chinatown, which unleashed the character of Los Angeles gumshoe J.J. "JAKE" GITTES upon the world, is a superb private eye mystery and modern-day film noir thriller.

Funny persian cat is holding a camera

Funny dalmatian is holding a camera

Funny poodle is holding a camera

Funny golden retriever is holding a camera

I put the "fiction" in "pulp" with these feminist satirical classic pulp fiction parodies. Check out my other books/magazines, "Broodmare," "Catcallers in Space," "Dump Him Magazine," "Dying Alone," "Feminist Killjoy," "Horses!" "Misandry Tales," "Nasty Woman," Nazis Suck," "Online Dating Weekly," "Said No Woman Ever," "She Left Her Cat For This," "Sleep!" "Tales of the Patriarchy," "Crazy Cat Lady," "Man Splain, Private Eye," "Science Quarterly," "The Gay Agenda," "The Shocking Spinster," and "The Feminist Agenda."

What happens in Boston isn’t gonna stay in Boston!

Go Pirates! (variation: grinning pirate with white skin)

Private Eye Couture Night T-Shirts, Elegant Fashion Inspired by the Detective Mystique of the Silver Screen

The Angel Heart design is inspired by Alan Parker’s noir masterpiece adaptation of the cult classic novel Falling Angel by William Hjortsberg. Mickey Rourke starred with Robert De Niro and Charlotte Rampling in the unsettling tale of black magic, devil worship and the eternal price of fame. Angel Heart tells the story of the search for the mysterious and enigmatic crooner Johnny Favorite.and is the ultimate movie of good and evil.

Hard boiled private eye Joe Mannix portrayed by Mike Connors in the hit tv series that ran from 1967 to 1975!

Mars Investigations ...hire them and they'll even bring Backup!

Jim Rockford was an ex-con turned private investigator in the 70s. He worked out a trailer in Malibu, California. Cool, new, popular, recent, trending, top pick, best seller, top seller, editors pick, number 1 ranked, hot, recommended, liked, great artwork, t-shirt design, must-have, recommended choice, featured, All designs, best selling t-shirt graphics, best trending

For daily usage, exposure, gifts, travel, vacation, fashion, workout, etc.

A great gift for the irrevocably, irretrievably mad.

Please don't smash your merch! We make it with a few cracks in advance so you don't have to ;)

William Conrad Cannon Tribute

The J. J. Gittes design is inspired by the Jack Nicholson character in the films Chinatown and The Two Jakes. Gittes is a Los Angeles Private Eye in the vein of Philip Marlowe and Sam Spade, specialising in sleazy divorce work. Nicholson first appeared as Gittes in Roman Polanski's classic Chinatown, considered by many one of the best films of the Seventies.

Aliens USCM Marines Crew Names Parody

Everything I've Ever Told You Is A Lie. Including That.' The Peter Cook design celebrates the distinguished career of the actor, satirist, writer and comedian. Peter Cook, along with his longtime comedic partner Dudley Moore, was one of the leading lights of British Comedy from the 60's through to his death in 1995.

Aliens USCM Marines Crew Names Parody

Introducing the InvestiGator: He takes more than a bite out of crime, this gumshoe drags crime kicking and screaming into the bayou and swallows it whole.

A vintage-inspired design of a monster as a private detective. This private eye is literally badass and totally has one eye.

Offering up confidential investigations, courteous service, and reasonable rates are nothing new to a good private eye.

Inspired by all things noir, welcome to the dark delights of the Hardboiled Wonderland where all the dames are to die for, all the cops are crooked and all the eyes are private. The Hardboiled Wonderland design celebrates all that is great about those old pulp fiction tales and dime novels.

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