Eric David Haddad

This is NOT Rainbow Brite, you guys. This is my totally original character who happens to be color blind and can’t tell how gawdy her outfit is. She’s basically got all the fingers but still not enough to see the colors with. Buy this shirt to help teach your friends about the dangers of color blindness. I mean think about it, how do they know when to stop at street lights?!

Hey you guys, this is NOT a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, this is my original mutant turtle severed head bandit character. For some reason he hangs out with flies? Is that weird? I guess buy this shirt if you feel like life is confusing anyway so why not a two mouthed mutant severed turtle head with insect companions?

Hey you guys, this is NOT a family of Sea Monkeys. Water apes do not look like this. This is a group of my original characters who actually aren’t related at all because you can pick your family now. Like, you’re not just stuck with the suckers you share blood with, you can share blood with whoever you want. Buy this shirt if you share blood with your friends to make beautiful unconventional families that live under water and don’t look like their picture.

Hey you guys, this little guy is NOT the Teeny Little Super Guy. He’s my original giant character trapped in an even more giant plastic cup. But don’t worry, we can still hear him teach his backwards lessons to kids about the dangers of pea soup and how to be a better bully. He’s basically the worst. He told me I would never be able to ride a bike no matter how hard I tried. Buy this shirt if you believe in me and think that I can ride a bike really well and don’t even need training wheels.

This is NOT My Little Pony, you guys. Not like it is a little pony, just not mine, because it is mine. It’s my original magical tiny horse character and it’s definitely NOT PINK. He’s like salmon or coral or something and definitely a boy, but also could be a girl because gender is fluid and leave him alone.

This is NOT PacMan but is instead my original arcade circle face character who is full of thumbs up! He always loses paternity suits but you already knew that. Wear this shirt if you want your friends to know how empty and childless you prefer your sad life to be, unless you are the mother. Then just wear this shirt for clarification.