Art Grootfontein

"There's an intelligent redneck in all of us somewhere." Rodney Atkins

"An American monkey, after getting drunk on brandy, would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men." Charles Darwin

"I hope they make a video game of me. At least I wouldn't have any cellulite then." Scarlett Johansson

"Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna, but it says 'Chicken of the Sea.'" Jessica Simpson

"Hey Earl!" "Hey Crabman!"

"There's something about the ukulele that just makes you smile. It makes you let your guard down. It brings out the child in all of us." Jake Shimabukuro

"Paris is always a good idea." Audrey Hepburn

"I don't do drugs. I am drugs." Salvador Dali