Simple white letters on black background: "if you can't be good, be careful". When your angel halo's slipping a little and you just have to be pragmatic about what's possible and realistic.
Tags:
tongue in cheek, humor, quote, pragmatic, witty
Simple white letters on black background: "I just want pocketses, preciousss". When you're a woman in the modern world, and AI is advancing but you still can't get pockets in your dang jeans or dress.
Tags:
absurd, pocketses, tongue in cheek, feminism, women
Simple white letters on black background: "Dark Robinette cancels malarkey". Sure, you can cheer for Dark Brandon or chant let's go, but in the end Dark Brandon is gettin' things done. Not even joking.
Tags:
politics, best words, dark, humor, ridiculous
Simple white letters on black background: "I invented the question mark". No one could even ask questions before that! Just make exclamations! Because bragging's better when it's totally absurd and ridiculous.
Tags:
invented, deadpan, sarcastic, best words, grammar
Simple white letters on black background: "I'll go if there's a buffet". The socially awkward and the introverts among us may prefer to hang out on the sofa, but may sometimes be lured outside with tacos, donuts, or other food snacks.
Tags:
anxiety, tongue in cheek, if theres, anxious, ill go
Simple white letters on black background: "grumpy old lady". Sometimes you just have to embrace who you're becoming, wild hair, eclectic fashions, and all. Get off my lawn, you kids. I'm a curmudgeon and don't care who knows it.
Tags:
humour, grumpy old lady, snarky, curmudgeon, tongue in cheek
Simple white letters on black background: "Excuse me, is this the queue for the apocalypse?" Yeah, it's the end times; get in line. Because we're all waiting for the end of the world but we still wanna be polite.
Tags:
white, end times, tongue in cheek, snarky, end of the world
Simple white letters on black background: "feed me". When you're up for snacks, a free slice of pizza, a bowl of ramen, last year's Halloween candy, a hot dog, or - well, just about anything going. Hangry? Hungry? Does it matter?
Tags:
cook, best words, hungry, kitchen, sarcastic
Simple white letters on black background: "Exhibit A". Perhaps you're someone to aspire to! Or perhaps you're a cautionary tale. You don't have to be specific. You're just... an example. Of something.
Tags:
ridiculous, witty, best words, cautionary tale, tongue in cheek
Simple white letters on black background: "cheese is all I have left". It's a bit sub-optimal. It would be good to have more than cheese. But cheese is still pretty excellent - you can make a quesadilla, a grilled cheese, or even add some mac.
Tags:
all i have left, white, humor, black, pessimist
Simple white letters on black background: "bigotry is not an 'opinion'". Stop making excuses for racism or injustice. Stand up for the vulnerable and do good in the world. For decent humans and people trying to be kind to all.
Tags:
bigotry is not an opinion, anti racist, best words, be a kind human, social
Simple white letters on black background: "bibulous". Maybe you're a lush or a drunk, but you're not COMMON, darling. For those who are both fancy and sarcastic.
Tags:
bibulous, alcohol, best words, black, bougie
Simple white letters on black background: "bah humbug". Not just for Ebenezer Scrooge; fly your grouch flag high and tell everyone to get off your lawn - and your Christmas tree too. For curmudgeons everywhere.
Simple black letters on white background: "Nobody cool likes Tucker Carlson." You can test this theory; go see if you can find someone cool who thinks Tuckums has got anything going for him. We'll wait.
Simple white letters on black background: "corncob". Cut to the chase for those times when you have to insist you're not owned but you can feel the shrinking and transformation taking place.
Tags:
absurd, funny, deadpan, im not owned, tongue in cheek
Simple white letters on black background: "as shook as a hand at mass". For those who are Irish, or Catholic, or both, and like a certain amount of wordplay and punning. Is that your granda's saying?
Tags:
wordplay, shook as a hand at mass, irish, deadpan, catholic
Simple black letters on white background: "FIGJAM". Niche Aussie slang: F*ck I'm good, just ask me. Self-deprecating humor is the best humor; ask any Australian. Also available in white.
Simple white letters on black background: "a little miffed". When you're British and PRACTICALLY LIVID but this is all you can manage out loud. "I'll write a very stiff letter. ON CARDBOARD."
Tags:
rather, english, absurd, annoyed, tongue in cheek
Simple white letters on black background: "allergic to people". You were social distancing before it was cool because - ugh, people. Why must they? It's too peoplely out there so just stay inside on the couch.
Tags:
anxiety, people, social distancing, anxious, outside
Simple white letters on black background: "DON'T COME FOR GRETA IF SHE DIDN'T SEND FOR YOU". Whether you're asking for her email address or just being a clown, try... not. Greta rules!
Tags:
if she, small dick energy, email address, dont come, didnt send
Simple white letters on black background: "queso sparks joy". Don't let Marie Kondo clear the chips, queso, or salsa out of your house. If you don't feel happy yet, you probably haven't added enough cheese.
Tags:
absurdist humor, best words, black background, chips and salsa, deadpan
Simple white letters on black background: "mistakes were made". Do we need to be more specific? Probably not. This is the universal disclaimer. Or is it a confession? Whatever.
Tags:
socially, mistakes, absurd, sarcasm, tongue in cheek
Simple white letters on black background: "iconic". You know who you are. If others did there'd be paparazzi behind you right now. Yass, queen. Slay all day. Or don't; you make the rules.
Simple black letters: "degenerate". For you or society in general. Wear this with your tongue in cheek, or literally; only you know your miscreant truth. Also available in white.
Tags:
tongue in cheek, sarcasm, anti social, heretic, identity
Simple black letters on white background: "CURMUDGEON". Get off my lawn, you kids! For the grumpy and cranky of all ages. Also available: "aspiring curmudgeon" - if you're not quite grumpy enough (yet).
Tags:
get off my lawn, curmudgeon, tongue in cheek, old fart, deadpan
Simple black letters on white background: "curmudgeon". Get off my lawn, you kids! For the grumpy and cranky of all ages. Also available: "aspiring curmudgeon" - if you're not quite grumpy enough (yet).
Simple white letters on black background: "yobbo". Are you drunk? Maybe. Are you crude? Quite possibly. Are you just gonna be who you are, and to hell with uptight bastards? Most definitely. Aussie Aussie Aussie! (OI OI OI!)
Tags:
aussie, australia, black background, bogan, crass
Simple white letters on black background: "TOO OLD FOR NEW BULLSHIT". Most people can handle a few different kinds of bullshit when they're young. But once you hit a certain age? Fuggedaboudit. Let people know nonsense will not be tolerated.
Simple white letters on black background: "Too old for new bullshit." Most people can handle a few different kinds of bullshit when they're young. But once you hit a certain age? Fuggedaboudit. Let people know nonsense will not be tolerated.
Simple black letters on white background: "All hat, no cattle." If you've got a self-deprecating sense of humor, this could be the design for you. Got a lot of flash but not so much substance? Yeah, join the club.
Tags:
simple white letters, self deprecating, southern saying, absurd, snarky
Simple black letters on white background: "All hat, no cattle." If you've got a self-deprecating sense of humor, this could be the design for you. Got a lot of flash but not so much substance? Yeah, join the club.
Tags:
tongue in cheek, tongue in cheek humor, absurd, southern saying, absurdist
Simple white letters on black background: "Could have made better choices." Who among us hasn't done a few things that seemed smarter in retrospect? That sixth drink; taking the umbrella out of your bag; maybe even your first marriage!
Tags:
better, black background, choices, dumb, mistakes
Simple white letters on black background: "I used to be cool". A story as old as time. Someday they'll change what 'it' is on you, too. Ah, being cool is for kids ... let 'em have it.
Tags:
black background, bogus, curmudgeon, deadpan, geezer
Simple white letters on black background: "fancy plastic bitch". Some days you don't have the time or energy to hide your fanciness. Embrace it! Don't let the haters bring you down.
Tags:
badge of honor, best words, bitch, black background, energy
Simple white letters on black background: "When this is over, I still want some of y'all to stay away from me." Have these pandemic years given you a new understanding of some of the people around you? It's never too late to start having boundaries.
Tags:
social distancing, antisocial, anxious, black background, boundaries