FabulouslyFeminist

Sugar Spice & Reproductive Rights

Something I’ve been talking about in therapy is showing up for myself the same way I have been trained to show up for others. What does that mean? For me it means practicing grounding and mindfulness. Embodiment. Noticing how I am feeling in my body. Actively thinking about my needs and then (this part is key) meeting them. Showing up for myself feels dynamic and it changes. I guess it means being in relationship with myself, and in turn valuing that relationship just as much as I value all my other relationships.

since ending my marriage and moving to Buffalo, I have been thinking a lot about how good things cannot spark and grow in isolation. How we need community in order to heal, to learn, to liberate ourselves. Our communities are made up of our neighbors, our chosen family, our friends, the people who support us and who we support. ⁠ I'm so grateful for the fab feminist community, the members of which have supported me since even before starting this business. I'm grateful for all the loving people who have been with me on this healing journey. And, I am grateful for my new family. ⁠ ⁠ "Without community there is no liberation." - Audre Lorde

The weather is changing. In fact, yesterday I closed all the windows and pulled on a sweater. And, one of my favorite autumn activities is to snuggle up with a big mug of tea and a book.⁠ .⁠ I'm looking for reading recommendations! What's your favorite autumnal read???

I want to practice saying yes to things. Well, not everything. The things that might bring me joy, the things that might be difficult or hard, but rewarding all the same. The things I am afraid to do, but want to achieve. I want to practice saying yes even when I don't feel like I am quite ready; this is how I give myself permission and room to grow. ⁠ .⁠ How many things have you said 'no' to, because secretly you were afraid?

"You are handling things many people would not be able to manage. And you are doing great. How you talk about yourself matters. You need to turn the spotlight of compassion you so freely spread around to others, onto yourself."⁠ That's what my therapist said to me when I called myself a hot mess. I don't think I have referred to myself as a hot mess after that moment. Learning to be unconditionally loving and compassionate towards yourself takes time, but it's so vital.

“The heart of justice is truth telling, seeing ourselves and the world the way it is rather than the way we want to be.”⁠ ― bell hooks, All About Love: New Visions

I want to live fully, joyfully and in the moment. I want to hold time and space for all the feelings and experiences and relationships with kind, creative, loving people.⁠ "Tell me what is you plant to do with your one wild & precious life?" - Mary Oliver⁠ it's not insignificant that I made this drawing while my life was very much in chaos, as I talked to my new partner on the phone, rediscovering a joy of drawing. We talked and drew and cultivated a new life.

Yeah, Um I didn't ask sooooooo...⁠ .⁠ I'm working really hard on building distance between myself and unasked for opinions and instead trusting my own gut and self knowledge. Dang is it hard, though.

I used to have this debilitating, buzzing anxiety in the back of my mind at all times that my life was flying past, and the things I wanted were never going to come. It's strange how life works out, though. The things you want change, or perhaps shift, come about in ways you'd never expect, the rollercoaster takes a wild turn and sometimes loops back, but it's never quite the same.⁠ .⁠ For the first time in my life, I am taking a deep, deep breath and soaking in the here and the now rather than desperately aching for a different future. That feels absolutely beautiful.

I'm A Craftea Bitch

Asking For Help Is A Sign Of Strength

Revolution Is Not A One Time Event, Audre Lorde

Pansexual Babe

I have been trying to think about what to say about rainbow capitalism, anti lgbt legislation, shrinking human rights for people in the United States. if I am totally honest, I am struggling to just fully take it all in. The first Pride was a riot. Why? Because people have always had to fight for rights, for recognition, for safety. The first pride may not have been fought in front of a Target display, but it *was* centered around a public space where queer people dared to say, "We deserve to exist and to be seen." I think that merits some thought.⁠

May The Tears We Cry Water The Seeds We Plant

You know what we need infinitely more of? Well-educated, compassionate kids and adults who have access to a diverse range of badass books. Bigotry is so two-thousand-and-late, so why the f*ck are we even entertaining the discussion of book bans??? #banbigotsnotbooks #sorrynotsorry

It's finally *finally* feeling like actual spring here in Western New York. And you know what, it's a lovely time of year to get outside, do some yard work, some gardening, some exploring--and also some serious dismantling of systems of oppression.

Support Your Local Queers

I want to focus on all the beautiful, creative, strong, resilient, powerful and joyful AF queer folx I know in the world. Gosh darn it are we doing amazing things in the face of all this crap.

maybe it's monday morning, or maybe you're just anxious af and capitalism ruins the day again???

There are days I desperately wish this spray existed. And it would smell like patchouli, geranium, rose & freedom. What would your Patriarchy Repellant Spray smell like?

It's the time of year where all kinds of advertising geared at selling a negative self image start popping up just as rapidly as the spring flowers are blooming. F*ck that noise.

Gay As A Spring Day

Times are tough... and we keep holding on. Sometimes I think resilience is a muscle.⁠

No matter where we live, no matter how we identify, how we express ourselves, what our gender(s) are, who we love, how we love, how we build our families: we are beautiful, worthy and we are strong. We reject this fear and this hate. Trans rights are human rights and trans folx are goddamn magical.

I'm learning to make friends with my uncertainty, and to build trust and confidence in myself. It's going to be okay, because I believe I have the skills, knowledge and kindness I need. It's going to be okay because every step of the way, I am making healthy choices, I am focusing on growth, I am doing my best, I am resting and loving and playing and learning. I get to write this story.

oh for the love of books

My partner has often said to me, "Only good and beautiful things are allowed to grow here."⁠ That's something I want to pay attention to... How much of my time and energy am I giving to the beautiful things? The things I want and need more of?

I am learning that it’s important for me to not be critical of my old coping mechanisms and responses to triggers. They were the result of my body and brain trying to keep me safe. So, when I go into a fear response, or I feel myself being activated, I am trying to practice noticing but not judging. The old coping mechanisms aren’t needed anymore; I’m building a safer world for myself and learning new, healthier modes of being. ⁠ It’s ok if I automatically reach for an old key, but I can work on putting it down, and picking up one of the new ones.

I have always struggled with anxiety, but last year things reached a bit of a fever pitch and I realized I wasn’t just struggling; I wasn’t able to cope. That’s when I started taking an SSRI for anxiety and depression, and going to twice-a-week trauma therapy. A year later, and doubling of my dose later, my only regret is that I waited so long to get such a life changing medication. It’s ok if your serotonin is store bought ❤️

I have had this illustration on my to-do list for actual *years*⁠ It wasn’t until I started sifting through my old planner the other day (so I could grab any useful info before I tossed it) that I suddenly realized, ahhh bleeding hearts (dicentra) are a kind of perennial! And a kind of perennial I actually really loved. So, of course I was inspired! This illustration references a Victorian anatomical-ish heart print and several different bleeding heart specimens.

We can’t change the things we have been through, things that we have experienced, things that have changed us and modeled us into the people we are now. But, we do have the opportunity and the responsibility to engage with our mental health.

These days it feels like the challenges are endless... But I'm trying to reframe them as opportunities and invitations for growth. ⁠

We have been raised to fear the yes in ourselves

Growth Is A Continuous Process